My special place

I have this special place I go. It is up in the mountains away from people and electricity and man made things except for tents, and some tools and dishes and such. It is a lovely place. I lived there 18 years. now I go when I can get there, not near enough.

I have always known this place was special but now it is more than knowing it. This place has a feel about it an energy that is felt, it is ALIVE and full of love and power. This place is HOLY. It is sacred ground, believe me.

I am changed when I go there. I don't do much there but listen, watch the nature and critters. I seem to be so involved in all the beauty I don't need to do anything else.

Then I go to the creek. Oh my the creek is beautiful. Lately, I am moved to tears there. I cry my heart out and I do not know why. Then I groan and these sounds come out of me. I never did this before. it feels right.

This is MY camp. I love it there. the animals love it there. They love me feeding them and do not fear me. oh, how I love them and need them. they accept me.

I had a dream last night I lost my shoes. I looked up the meaning and it is about me trying to find myself. Well, so true as that is exactally what is going on with me now.

I can only be who I am at camp. At least right now. I hope to find me, the one I was born to be and not who I am now.

Now I am back off the mountain and it is different here. It is dead, no life. I don't feel here like I do at camp.

I want, what do I want. I know it is not material. I will have to go back to camp to find out more about what is REAL, and not this dead so called life.